sunday morning in the east end

[sonia_alcana]

On her days off, it's rare that Sonia gets out of bed before noon. For starters, she's a night owl, and when she's working she tends to build up something of a sleep deficit. Then there's the fact that without much of a social life, when she isn't working she doesn't really have any tangible reason to get out of bed at a decent hour.

This morning, though, she's wide awake at 8:30 am. Slipping quietly out of bed, retrieving her service pistol from the safe in her closet, and making her way to the living room.

Someone is in her apartment, and she sure as hell did not invite them in.

Comments

[alfonso_conde]

There are a few signs that this isn't a typical break-in. For example, the smell of coffee brewing. Non-instant coffee, to boot.

Bane is in her kitchen with food, and an espresso maker with an oversized ribbon on it. Clearly, it's worse than a typical break-in.

[sonia_alcana]

With a sigh, Sonia relaxes and puts the gun down.

Where to even begin with this?

"What the fuck are you doing?"

That seems as good a place as any, sure.

[alfonso_conde]

"You ask that like a young man with vast resources and a lifetime of affirmation would be doing anything else right now."

[sonia_alcana]

"How did you even get in here?"

A beat.

"And why?"

[alfonso_conde]

"I needed some lapsed Catholic solidarity this morning." Bane says. "As to how I got in here, keep in mind your home security system consists of not having anything worth stealing."

He looks over at the espresso maker. "At least it did. I might trample over boundaries, but I like to pay my way."

[sonia_alcana]

"No shit." The espresso maker probably cost more than Sonia's rent. "What am I supposed to do with that thing?"

She has not received enough expensive gifts to be entirely familiar with the protocol for receiving them.

"And how did you know I'm a lapsed Catholic?"

[alfonso_conde]

"We can smell our own."

[sonia_alcana]

Sonia laughs despite herself.

"On that note, I'm going to put some pants on. Coffee mugs are in the cupboard to your left."

[alfonso_conde]

Bane begins to steam the milk.

"I don't suppose you've seen today's newspaper headlines. The Post has a headline about the Vice President being called to testify on his company's involvement in that armed conflict in Belize a few years back. Unfortunately, I don't have a copy of the Post, just the Star-Patriot. It implies, albeit somewhat more obliquely than usual, that Harvey Dent is a member of the same Themysciran sex-cult as the Catwoman and that's why she's still at large."

[sonia_alcana]

"You're making that up," Sonia accuses from her bedroom. When she emerges, she's dressed in jeans and a tank top. Her hair is still uncombed, however, and the effect is that she looks only slightly more put together.

[alfonso_conde]

Bane says nothing, but tosses her a copy of the Star-Patriot. To be sure, it is written cryptically enough that they could deny ever claiming that Harvey is a member of a Themysciran sex-cult, but someone could certainly draw that inference.

Presently, Bane says: "Their adeptness at skating around the state's defamation laws is really something to behold. It's like looking at a Michelangelo painting of Jerry Springer."

[sonia_alcana]

Sonia snorts. "Please. I give them points for imagination, but it's probably the least defamatory thing they've printed about Harvey Dent all month."

[alfonso_conde]

"True enough, unless he actually did eat that guy. But somewhat more pressing is that the press is starting to whip up a frenzy against both the Amazons and people in masks. Mark my words, there'll be a bonfire of Residents albums in the city streets before too long."

[sonia_alcana]

Sonia shrugs. "Maybe if enough people get pissed at the masked types, there'll be a decline in vigilantism."

Or maybe there will be a push back from costumed vigilantes in response.

[alfonso_conde]

"It will also likely mean a lot of scrutiny on your unit. Are you sure you don't want my help with this? I can also deal with the media. Maybe I can distract them with my penis. Celebrities only have wardrobe malfunctions when there's something they want to draw the media's attention away from. Nobody talks about Paris Hilton the war profiteer."

Bane leans back against the counter and smiles. "You know, this whole Themysciran sex-cult thing. I was at a Gotham New Year's Eve party, and saw Gilda slap him on the ass. At the time I just assumed it was a playful gesture of affection, but maybe it was some kind of secret Amazon handshake."

[sonia_alcana]

Sonia gives Bane a look.

"What is it with you and Gilda?"

[alfonso_conde]

"What is it with you and Harvey? Anyway, you should let me do a sting operation. Which newspaper headline would you rather see: 'Sonia Lets Catwoman Get Away, Probably Slutty' or 'Sultry Penis Man Solves Case (With Penis)?' We've slept together, you KNOW I can do that."

[sonia_alcana]

"Mark me down as skeptical."

She runs a hand through her hair. It is too early for her to be this exasperated.

"Why do you even want to be involved in this?"

[alfonso_conde]

"Only for the most noble of reasons." Bane says. "I want to be perceived as the kind of person whose commitment to justice will lead me to work with the authorities and even place my life in danger in order to bring down a notorious killer. A heroic portrayal in the media will buy me some leverage in local politics, enough that Thorne will have to deal with me on my own terms."

[sonia_alcana]

Sonia looks at him, one eyebrow raised. There's a long pause before she responds.

"You want to go up against Thorne, that's your goal?"

[alfonso_conde]

"I'm not a fan." Bane says. "I don't know how much you know about the history of Santa Prisca, but a few of Gotham's crime families treated it as their personal fiefdom. Nicodemo Falcone and Francesco Zucco chief among them. Rupert Thorne was involved indirectly through Carl Grissom, putting money in a few casinos. It was organized crime that funded the coup that assassinated my father and drove my mother and I into exile."

[sonia_alcana]

Sonia smiles, somewhat bitterly.

"Remind me to tell you what happened to my parents' business."

He might be able to guess, though. He's seen the burn scars on her back.

"If it's Thorne you want, I can help you. But I'm not bringing you in on the Van Djik case. We'll figure something else out."

[alfonso_conde]

Bane looks around at the crummy apartment. "An auspicious start to our plan to take down the Gotham Democratic Party kingmaker. 8:45 on a Sunday morning in a tiny kitchen and your fly is down. It's like the second Continental Congress all over again."

[sonia_alcana]

"Fine, asshole, go ask Gilda to help you. I'm sure her kitchen is much more suited to your tastes."

[alfonso_conde]

"Hey, all I'm saying is that a voyage of many miles begins with a single step, and that we go to war with the kitchen we have and not the kitchen we want to have. Also, I'm sure Gilda's kitchen contains a distressing amount of bottled water, aspartame and Go-gurt." Bane hands Sonia a coffee topped with milk-froth and a pinch of cinnamon.